What is a Healthy Relationship?
IN THIS LESSON
Let’s talk about unhealthy behaviours in relationships.
Unhealthy behaviours in relationships are those that aren’t healthy but aren’t abusive. All relationships have a level of tension, misunderstanding, or disagreement. The differences between healthy and abusive are often rooted in intention - unhealthy behaviours aren’t meant to hurt the other person, and may just require some additional effort to work through and make the changes needed to become healthy behaviours.
Let’s explore each aspect of unhealthy relationships and what they mean
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Not trusting in relationships means that you are uncomfortable around them, they may lie about something they know would make you upset, and you may question whether they are being truthful.
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Disrespect means hiding parts of who you are, concerned about how they would react if you were openly yourself. This might include name-calling, demeaning your interests, or belittling your intelligence for having such interests/perspectives.
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Inequality means one person has more control - where their interests, values, and expectations are more important. They may not take interest in what you like, or listen when you speak of your experiences or opinions.
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Unhealthy communication may include disrespectful tones such as mocking, refusal to compromise, and not listening to you. This may include making decisions without talking to you, or acting like it wasn't their decision.
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Unhealthy independence means you are only allowed to enjoy time and space with them, and make decisions about yourself together.
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Unhealthy decisions mean that choices that impact the relationship are made primarily by one person, and they may pressure you into agreeing with them.
Pink Flags
Unhealthy behaviours in relationships tend to be things that raise your anxiety, but we need more understanding and context to determine whether they are problematic and likely to become abusive. Some examples can include:
Shared social media accounts: it may be an easy way to keep in touch with family and friends, or it may be a way to track the other person;
Not liking your family: it may be as simple as disagreements or misunderstandings and that liking everyone is unrealistic, or it could be the first step to isolating the other person;
Never having a disagreement: it may be genuine agreement and shared values, or it could be a sign that one person doesn’t feel safe to share different opinions.